Deer Meat & Coon Tails

And here's another good "Bert" story. Sorry, Bert. We just had some "memorable" experiences while you all were up here.

I remember the time the four of us were heading somewhere, and about half way to Smithville we saw the car in front of us hit a deer. Bert said, "Stop! Let's go back and get it." So, we turned around in the middle of the road, and checked it out.

It was definitely dead, but didn't look too banged up so we loaded it in the back of whatever we were driving (Joan's Blazer, I think) and headed for the house. We strung that deer up in the shop and commenced cleaning it.

Now, it didn't look bad on the outside, but the inside was ooooeeeeee!!!! If you have any idea what getting hit by a car does to the insides of a deer, you KNOW what we ran into when we cut him open!!!

I don't think I even stayed out there, but Bert was determined to get some deer meat out of it, so he kept at it a good share of the evening. I actually do believe that he got a roast and maybe some steaks out of the hind quarters, but that was about all that was salvageable.

I really think I could smell "deer insides" when we were eating it. Surely not, but it definitely left a lasting impression.

And, that brings to mind another story.

We were tooling down the highway one day, just Joan and me, and I saw a raccoon by the side of the road that looked pretty fresh-hit. So, being the cheapskate that I am, and knowing how much coonskin caps were worth, I decided to get that little feller and make me one.

I stopped the truck, and took a look at him, and decided that maybe I'd better just get the tail instead of the whole thing. We were on our way someplace, and I figured the whole carcass would get to stinking before we got home.

So, I grabbed him by the tail and had my knife ready to cut it off. I don't know if you are aware of it or not, but the first thing a coon (and probably any other critter) does when it gets hit, and is probably on it's way to it's eternal destination is to relieve himself. So, of course, I reached down, and got a BIG handful of "coon relief". UGH!!!

I wiped my hands on the grass and proceeded to cut the tail off, but since it had an abundant supply of "coon relief" on it as well, I decided to put it in the tool box in the back of the truck. That way it wouldn't stink up the inside.

BUT, I couldn't get the smell off my hand. I wiped and wiped, and got what water I could get my hands on and tried to wash, all for nothing. It stunk terrible!!! I ended up riding all the way to wherever we were going with my hand out the driver's window.

It took a lot of scrubbing with strong soap to get rid of that smell. The worst part about the whole coontail thing was, that by the time I got home, I forgot I'd put it in the tool box, so after quite a while of baking inside a metal box in the hot sun, it was REALLY ripe when I finally found it.

So, I've learned, if it's dead on the highway, leave it be. You REALLY don't want to mess with "road kill" 'cause road kill will MESS with you!!

WB